Sandra Gant’s daughter laments on words of “love” and “hope” in missing mother’s letter

Details from Sandra’s Letter

Sandra, mother of four and grandmother of nine, has been missing for 18 years. On 15 November 2003, 48-year-old Sandra disappeared from Clacton-on-Sea.

Sandra’s eldest daughter Carrie, shares details from a letter her mother wrote her two years before she vanished. Carrie finds comfort in her mother’s letter, saying that Sandra is “still able to reach her children and give them hope through these words”.

The letter shows just what a doting mother Sandra could be. When her daughter, Michaela was late to a meet up she wrote: “Still no Michaela! Maybe she is just late, or she might come after school with Lauren [Sandra’s youngest daughter]. I feel upset, but I can imagine how she is feeling. Whatever happens, one day this I do know; We will all be together again! I will always keep waiting because I love you all so much, please don’t ever think any different.”

Sandra spoke of her pride in her family: “Kyhia is such a strong-minded little girl, yes, and also beautiful, she will get round it [her granddaughter’s upcoming operation]. She’s tough just like you. I’m proud of Marty too. He’s doing really well at school. He always was so clever. That’s why [sic] you’re their mum. Because [sic] you’re My Daughter. And I’ve always been proud of you. Because I love you.”

“I know we could be so happy, we all have so much love to give each other, none of us are going to be on this earth forever, not in our bodily forms anyway, I want us all to be back together again”

“I don’t want to waste anymore of what’s left of our lives, because its unbearable without you all around me,” she added.

Carrie’s response

“MUM – What happened to you?… Will we ever know?

Mum you have been missing now for 18 years, 18 long years wondering where you are, what happened, and will we ever be able to lay you to rest?

All our life all we ever wanted was a close and connected relationship with you, no matter how hard we tried to hold onto you, you constantly pulled away – toward a life of unrest, unease, pain and turmoil. What could we have done differently if we had the time again?

In our torment these are the questions we are left with running around in our minds…Could we have held her tighter? Shown her more just how much we needed her? Told her how much we love her… The truth is we did all we could and all we knew that was within our own understanding at our age and experience in life.

Our mental health is like a delicate cloak we wear; worn, torn, battered and bruised. Emotional whirlwinds have ripped through its threads! We all need and use at various stages of our lives and allow the outside in and it shakes us up, but we can always depend on those we loved to tether us and reel us back in, keep us grounded and comfort us in those times.

Don’t give up on those that mean the world to you, even if you spend your life trying to hold on to them while they struggle to remain, never let them go. Through all the bitter twists and turns, recklessness and pain all we really needed was togetherness.

We will never stop hoping to find you, we will be together again if not in this life…the next xxx”

Carrie says that Sandra’s words are those her children turn to for comfort over these last 18 years and that they will continue to live in hope that one day they will know what happened to their mother. Sandra’s children believe that the bond between a mother and her children will always defy space and time.

 

If anyone has any information about Sandra’s disappearance, please call or text Missing People’s helpline on 116 000, or email 116000@missingpeople.org.uk. Sandra, if you are reading this, please get in touch. Our service is non-judgemental and confidential. We just want to provide you with the support you need and help you to be safe.