This blog has been written and kindly shared by Kevin Gosden, father of Andrew Gosden, who went missing in September 2007.
I very often write a short blog for Andrew’s birthday in July. This year, I found myself literally having no idea what to write. Not one thought. Zero. I admit I am having a very busy year, now refurbishing the ground floor of our modest but ageing house and put my lack of inspiration down to my head being full of matters such as electricians and mending floors.
A little later, as I reflected on it, I realised that I would end up writing a blog about not writing a blog. Some of it comes down to the ongoing battles with depression and anxiety, some of it simply because nothing has changed and never seems to. We still miss Andrew all the time and have no resolution of any kind.
It occurred to me that perhaps 4 or 5 times this year I have been approached by media companies about the possibility of making a new documentary style film and have felt unable to say yes because telling the story again is so painful and that after so long (19 years) I have discovered that none of it has turned up anything concrete about what happened to our son.
I then realised that the exception to this has been the times I was asked by Missing People to help out with media and publicity. The short video on their website was the result of this and I also visited media city in Manchester to speak on breakfast TV about it.
I think I feel differently about this because it helps others more widely by making them aware of the amazing work Missing People do and also to know where to obtain help should they need it. I am not by nature a demonstrative chap, but speaking to one of the ladies beside me in that film caused me to ask permission to give her a hug because the pain I saw in her eyes had a depth and intensity to it that lies beyond description and which I have seen too many times. I expect it is in my eyes too, certainly at times.
Many of us have little idea how we would manage without the support of the wonderful folk at Missing People and actually all I can really think of to say is to please know that they are there. Please put their number in your kids’ phones and talk it through with them. The greatest hope in our situation for so long is that others are spared this pain and should they have to endure it, they know where to turn for help and support.
Ongoing support is available specifically for families and friends who are worrying about a missing person or someone who has been found.
Get emotional support by emailing our Family Support Team, requesting a text back, or contacting them through a call or text on 116 000.