Whilst Father’s Day is a day of love, treats, bonding and a celebration of the father figures in one’s life, there are children who can’t participate in that joy, as their father is missing. Some children, now parents themselves, have faced this loss since they were teenagers, and continue to wait for answers on their dad’s whereabouts, carrying that trauma well into adulthood.
To mark Father’s Day this year, we are sharing a series of stories from children suffering from the ambiguous loss of their dads, and fathers with a missing child.
Today, we tell the story of Tessa, whose father, Andrew Capon, went missing from Skegness, Lincolnshire, on 2nd October 1998.
I was 15 when my dad went missing. I had just gone into year 11 at school. I was so confused not knowing what was really happening. I lost interest in everything: I didn’t do well in my GCSEs as I just couldn’t focus, my mental health declined not knowing where my dad was. I had so many questions [yet no] answers.
My dad was a fighter and never gave up, so that is what I did for him; I fight to this day to get answers and to bring him home.
Having a positive father figure in your life, especially at such a young age, is so important to a child’s wellbeing. I was 15 years old when this happened to my family and to this day, I still ask myself, “did I do something wrong to make him leave?” The negative impact is beyond anything you can imagine. It is a living nightmare every single day.
Father’s Day to me is about celebrating you fathers, being close, remembering the good times and thanking them for bringing us into this world, and helping shape us into the people we are today.
Missing People have saved my life countless times. I felt so broken and lost before I found the Missing People charity. They are a godsend: there is always somebody there to talk to, and I have felt that they are the only ones who understood and do not judge.
My dad has been missing for a long time and, whilst each day that passes its less likely I will find the answers we need; Missing People are still there with an ear and a kind voice. They have been amazing in publicising my dad’s case despite it being a cold case, which is often hard to get.
So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you to Missing People. To the sons the daughters out that struggling today, keep that hope alive – it’s all we have.
Ongoing support is available specifically for families and friends who are worrying about a missing person or someone who has been found.
Get emotional support by emailing our Family Support Team, requesting a text back, or contacting them through a call or text on 116 000.
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